“Well, I have that effect on everybody, as you know.”

Tie: Navy Blue
Oddball fun fact: Today in 1813, Henry Ward Beecher was born.

5. Well, Gov. Mark Sanford wasn’t hiking the Appalachian Trail, but rather the “happy trail” with a woman from and in Argentina. He gave a press conference today and resigned as head of the Republican Governors’ Association.
(Whoa, no guest?)

4. More on the Sanford sex scandal, and comparisons to Michael Palin’s sitcom “Ripping Yarns.”
Eugene Robinson, former resident of both South Carolina and Buenos Aires, talks about this.

Oddball: Naked protests in Tel Aviv, a water fight in San Juan, and a Malaysian kung-fu master breaks coconuts with his index finger.
Bests:
3. Lt. Col. Joe Repya for realizing the Republican party’s death spiral and quitting.
2. The AMPAS for doubling the number of “Best Picture” nominees.
1. A man for stealing a woman’s french fries from the drive-thru while naked.

3. And now, on to actual news. That’s right, Iran. Despite orders not to protest anymore, protesters gathered in the square.
Bobby Ghosh discusses the situation in Iran.

Worse: Congressman Randy Neugebauer for buying into the meme that President Obama wasn’t born in the U.S.
Worser: Joyce E. Thomann for comparing Obama to Hitler.
Worst: Cynthia Davis for trying to defend her indefensible comments about hunger being a positive motivator.

1. Oh, boy. Emails between Gov. Sanford and his mistress, a woman named Maria, have been released. No, I’m not reproducing them here. God, why would I want to?!
Christian Finnegan talks about this.

“Governor, when we said, ‘Take a hike,’ we didn’t mean it literally!”

Tie: Gold and white striped
Oddball fun fact: Today in 1963, Jimmy Piersol hit the 100th homerun of his career.

5. Iran, on cue, is claiming that its rioters have been inspired by America, and a British study puts in doubt whether the votes in Iran were counted at all. Also, President Obama strikes back at Republican critics who accuse him of being too soft on this issue.
Howard Fineman talks about the situation in Washington.

4. President Obama answered questions from an Iranian via Twitter and Nico Pitney of The Huffington Post.
Hooman Madj discusses those questions.

Oddball: An emotive robot in Tokyo, and the star-tattoo girl lied.
Bests:
3. A gun owner in Michigan for trying to dislodge a bullet while looking down the barrel.
2. John Maxwell Newall, dumb criminal du jour
1. Michael Steele for attacking a Republican senator.

3. Ha! We found you, Gov. Mark Sanford! Apparently, he was hiking the Appalachian Trail for four days without telling state government officials or even his family.
Eugene Robinson talks about this.

Worse: Senator Judd Gregg for being for claiming credit for pork money before being against it.
Worser: Newt Gingrich for being bought out by Peabody Energy.
Worst: George W. Bush. Remember the Downing Street Memo? It had a sequel that proves that Bush was looking for war with Iraq for any reason he could find.

1. Remember story #3? Thing is, the date when Gov. Sanford took off for his hiking trip coincides with National Hike Naked Day.
Lewis Black discusses this and Senator Ensign.

“Can I call you Liz?”

Tie: Pink
Oddball fun fact: Today in 1178, a meteor crashed into the moon, sending English monks into a tizzy.

5. Pro-Mousavi demonstrators in Iran joined to mourn the protesters who died during the week’s protests, while President Obama is facing criticism that he isn’t doing enough to support Mousavi.
Richard Engel talks about the situation in Iran.
After him, Richard Wolffe discusses the situation in the United States.

4. Well, so much for former president Bush keeping his silence. He’s knocking Obama on his policies, overwhelming hypocrisy notwithstanding.
Chris Hayes talks about this.

Oddball: A man dresses as his mother in Brooklyn, and a vegetarian eating competition in England.
Bests:
3. Dusty Rhodes, who died in Las Vegas of a heart attack today.
2. Bernard Maruiz, for encouraging patrons to insult the staff at the bar he owns.
1. Eduardo Lazcano, dumb criminal du jour, for having such an identifiable hair color.

3. Rush Limbaugh is comparing judge Sonia Sotomayor to a housecleaner.
Melissa Harris-Lacewell discusses this.

Worse: State senator Dianne Black of Tennesee for failing to adequately reprimand a staffer for sending an extremely racist photo.
Worser: Karl Rove for forgetting Fox News’s “unprecedented access” to the White House.
Worst: Charles Krauthammer for trying to defend Fox News.

WTF?!? The “Don’t Call Me ‘Liz’” emails are reenacted for your viewing pleasure.

“… a massive crowd, sometimes approaching 40…”

Tie: Lavender and black striped
Oddball fun fact Today in 1947, the first newscast premiered on television.

5. 7 are dead so far in protests over Iran’s elections, and the Internet is playing a major role in covering the elections and protests. The president, however, is staying out of this.
Richard Engel talks about the reaction in Iran.
After him, Richard Wolffe discusses the reaction from the United States.

4. President Obama is refusing to release a list of names of visitors to the White House, despite having two judge’s decisions against the White House.
A somewhat congested Chris Hayes talks about this and about defend DOMA.

Oddball: A man stands around on a road sign and gets wasted, a raccoon in a Pepsi™ machine, and President Obama kills a fly.
Bests:
3. William Peterson for going fishing while the police were on a manhunt for him.
2. Tom Feddor for earning the mystical “0″ license plate number.
1. A security guard for shooting himself in his hind-quarters.

3. It turns out that Khalid Sheik Mohammed was lying about the location of Osama bin Laden to get the torture to stop.
Jonathan Landay discusses this.

Worse: Tom Cox for hiding illegal immigrants after railing against them.
Worser: Mary Catherine Hamm for using ‘too’ in the wrong form.
Worst: Boss Limbaugh for being a general dick about DOMA.

1. Gov. Sarah Palin is accepting David Letterman’s second apology, but brings the military into this and still doesn’t understand the nature of the First Amendment. Also.
Margaret Carlson talks about this and the extension of benefits to same-sex couples.

“You have no idea about the meaning about that last bell.”

Tie: Red
Oddball fun fact: Today in 1905, the Pennsylvania Railroad inaugurated the fastest cross-country train in history.

5. James von Brunn, the suspected shooter in the Holocaust Museum, has been confirmed to have numerous ties with right-wing hate groups.
Mark Potok discusses this in the context of the DHS report that conservatives attacked.
Of course, even in the face of facts, right-wing radio hosts are trying to blame James von Brunn on the left.
Eugene Robinson talks about this backwards position.

4. South Carolina governor Mark Sanford just stepped in it. Now he’s going around trash-talking Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney.
Ryan Lizza discusses the Republican party’s predicament.

Oddball: Russian woodworkers make a giant wooden spoon, and Bret Michaels has canceled a show.
Bests:
3. Mario Bertuccio for managing to reenact an episode of The Simpsons.
2. A suspect in New Haven, Conneticutt for protecting a 16-year-old from the authorities with swine flu.
1. Newt Gingrich for calling the Mirandizing of detainees under the Bush administration “unimaginable.”

3. Oh, it seems the Palins are never satisfied. Now they’re attacking David Letterman for jokes he’s already apologized for.
Margaret Carlson talks about this.

Worse: Liz Cheney for blatantly lying on air about George W. Bush’s remarks about Gitmo.
Worser: Coultergeist! Now she’s adding her specialty to the bash-Letterman bandwagon: lying. Yes, people bashed Chelsea Clinton, namely Rush Limbaugh.
Worst: Rev. Jeremiah Wright for his anti-Semitism.

1. After numerous breaches of contract, Carrie Prejean has officially been canned. Given the boot. Fired. Pink-slipped.
Michael Musto has a little fun with this.

“…straight out of the ‘Who Cares’ department of ‘celebritainment’…”

Tie: Blue and grey striped
Oddball fun fact: 55 years ago today, the hearings of Senator Joseph McCarthy began.

5. Newt Gingrich bashes President Obama and the stimulus bill at a Republican fundraising dinner last night.
Howard Fineman talk about last night’s dinner.
Also, in last night’s speech, Gingrich attacked the notion of world citizenry.
Margaret Carlson discusses the ignorance behind that statement.

4. Guantanamo Bay has started shutting down today, and a detainee is on trial in New York City. Republican response: ONOZ THINK OF TEH WIMMIN AN CHILDRENZ!!!!
Chris Hayes talks about the response to this issue.

Oddball: A man in a women’s bathing suit, a fisherman catches a missile, and a model falls in a pool.
Bests:
3. Tony Fratto for trying to revise history.
2. Japan Airlines for shrinking their plastic silverware.
1. A judge in Taipei for standing up for the guy who had his toupee knocked off.

3. President Obama spoke in Cairo, and a political party backed by Hezbollah loses its majority in Parlaiment. Coincidence?
Steve Clemons helps us try and answer this question.

Worse: Two former Democratic New York state senators for defacting to the Republicans while still saying that they’re Democrats.
Worser: Joe Voight for pushing the stale and moldy “Obama is a Muslim” theme.
Worst: Rush Limbaugh for trying to fool us into thinking that he’s not worried about the county Republican party spokesman who was fired in his name.

1. Some guy named Adam Lambert from American Idol is gay.
Maria Milito, American Idol princess, talks about this world-shattering event.

“…biography is only history made specific…”

Tie: Brown striped
Oddball fun fact: Today in 1789

5. Newt Gingrich is retracting the “racist” comment from his criticism of Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Rush Limbaugh isn’t stopping his cries of “racist,” but still might support her if she’s pro-life.
Eugene Robinson talks about this.
Politico is speculating that President Obama is appointing moderate Republicans to further undermine and diminish the Republican party.
Ryan Lizza discusses this theory.

4. Yeah, then Vice President Dick Cheney totally briefed senior members of Congress on the use of torture. Three years after they were supposed to have stopped, but who’s counting?
Chris Hayes talks about this.

Oddball: A burglar gets converted to Islam, an MC of the Miss Czech beauty paegant takes a fall, and two kittens were hiding in a minivan.

And… my satellite’s down. My apologies.

And… we’re back.
Worse: Manuel Miranda for saying that African-Americans think differently than everyone else.
Worser: Congressman Jim Jordan for pushing to have the GM plant in his district reopened.
Worst: Boss Limbaugh for ragging on Muslims’ lack of Nobel Prize recipients after ragging on the Nobel Prize.

WTF?!? Poor President Obama is still reading a book that he started in April. This is a stark contrast to President Bush, who read just over one book a week.

“‘Destroy Wisconsin!’”

Tie: Purple
Oddball fun fact: Today in 1955, Dana Carvey was born.

5.Judge Sonia Sotomayor met with ranking Senate Judiciary Committee members today, while Republicans are threatening to filibuster her confirmation hearings.
Howard Fineman talks about this.
The late Dr. George Tiller’s clinic might not reopen, and Scott Roeder has been charged with first degree murder in his assassination.
Susan Hill, friend of the late doctor, discusses this.

4. Former Vice-President Dick Cheney is now saying that there was no link between Iraq and 9/11. No, you don’t need to physically abuse yourself. You’re not dreaming, and Cheney still believes that torture worked, though he’s using some CYA tactics on that subject.
Arianna Huffington talks about this.

Some technical difficulties, then Oddball: Penguins, an Italian motorcycle racer doesn’t give up, and a cricket pitcher hits a pigeon.
Bests:
3.Fellow viewers for making Countdown and MSNBC the highest rated cable news show and channel among the 18-34 viewers.
2. Mr. Yuan for suing a casino over screwing up the feng shui to mourn a death.
1. Rep. Virginia Foxx for inviting other representatives for beer.

3. NBC News is going inside the Obama White House tonight and tomorrow night at 9pm Eastern.

Worse: George Jackson for commissioning the destruction of Tiger Stadium.
Worser: Stuart Taylor for attacking Sotomayor for her comments on the then lack of opportunities for Hispanics at Princeton.
Worst: The owners of 10 Burger King stores in Memphis for putting up signs against global warming, something that doesn’t jibe well with Burger King’s CEO.

WTF?!? Rush Limbaugh’s grip on the Republican Party had tightened to the point that the spokesman of the Marathon County Republicans was fired for disagreeing with him.

“You heard it from Randall Terry. People who believe in God are robots.”

Tie: Orange tiled
Oddball fun fact: Today in 1980, CNN premiered.

5. Remember that DHS report that mentioned right wing extremism? Turns out that the report wasn’t the hogwash the right made it out to be. Dr. George Tiller was shot to death in his church yesterday for his performing of late-term abortions.
Richard Wolffe talks about this.
After him, Andrew Sullivan discusses the reaction to Dr. Tiller’s death.

4. General Motors has filed for bankruptcy, and we the American people now own 60% of it.
Michael Moore talks about this.

Oddball: A deer jumps over a police cruiser in Iowa, a space shuttle piggybacks on an airplane, and a 15-foot oarfish in Taiwan.

3. Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez is calling for a truth commission to investigate the Bush administration and their alleged use of torture.
He discusses this.

Worse: William Kristol, The Weekly Standard, and Fox News, for suggesting air strikes against North Korea.
Worser: Sen. Mitch McConnell for being lazy.
Worst: Boss Limbaugh, for getting pwned by David Duke.

1. Alas, Dr. George Tiller’s assassin was not alone. Fox News Channel may deny it all they want, but their obscene depiction of Dr. Tiller over a span of four years all but put a loaded gun in their hand.

“This guy’s just freakin’ nuts now.”

Tie: Red with white dots
Oddball fun fact: Today in 1911, Vincent Price was born.

5. Oh, boy. The right is getting into a hizzy about Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.
Eugene Robinson talks about the right’s asplosion on this issue.
The two lawyers who were formerly pitted against each other in Bush v. Gore are uniting in trying to make a federal case for marriage rights.
John Dean discusses this issue.

4. Alberto Gonzales is trying to absolve himself of any blame regarding the use of torture.
After a sound thrashing of that idea, Chris Hayes talks about this.

Oddball: Video from last night’s #2 slot in Bests, an alligator in a Florida restraunt, and a Czech politician gets egged.
Bests:
3. Airport security for detaining a man with no fingerprints.
2. Rabin Osman for calling 911 over a juice box.
1. Julien’s of Los Angeles for selling Elvis’s pescription bottles.

3. More fallout from the Mancow waterboarding experience.
Rachel Maddow discusses the expected impact of this.

Worse: Col. Ralph Peters from Fixed News for suggesting that we kill the detainees.
Worser: Bill Hemmer and Fixed News for smearing Sotomayor for quoting a “socialist.”
Worst: Mark Krikorian for attacking Sotomayor on her last name.

WTF?!? Jeez. John Culberson from Texas’s 7th district gives a lulu of an answer on CSPAN. Long story short, it involves “private sexual behavior” and “protection.” And “interstate commerce,” for those of you who are just like that. >
This crap warrants the entire phrase: What the fuck?!